Marriage

[0:00] All right. So kind of before we kick off, just, you know, the media fast is coming to an end today.

[0:13] And Elliot had alluded to that. Just a little brief confession. I don't know how it was for you guys, but I kind of hit my lowest point on Friday. And I found myself looking at my phone and my podcast thing and just staring at it very affectionately with great desire and saying one day, very soon we will be together again.

[0:38] It was a lot of fun. It challenged me in a lot of ways. Trust it challenged you in a lot of ways. You know, it was beautiful. It made a lot of space for me to spend time with God in prayer, listening to him. It helped me grow again and refresh that discerning what the spirit is doing in and around me.

[0:52] And you know, who really benefited were my kids. I think they loved it because we had less distraction. And so we played a lot more games, spent a lot more time with them. Trust that for a lot of you, there was that similar kind of experience.

[1:06] And even if not so, trust that even in the space and it's like, well, I didn't come out with any great word from God. You know what? Sometimes we just need to learn to waste time with him.

[1:17] And that is a good thing. All right. So we're going to jump into the series that we're in. And if you're new, we started this a few weeks back. It's a series called Fruitful, Making the Most of Our Days.

[1:30] And so what we're doing is we're looking at life. And life, there's a lot, right? As we, the more we live of life, there's a lot that make up our lives. And so we're looking at the key aspects of what make up our lives.

[1:40] And we're saying, how does the gospel speak into those things? What is the wisdom of the gospel? Because there is a message for these things that is coming at us from the culture. And then there is the counter truth that we get from him.

[1:52] And what we get from the gospel is always life-giving and freedom. And so what we're going to look at today is specifically on the topic of marriage. And so I do not have the, it's not a very easy task.

[2:04] I have 30 minutes to do this. And usually like, you know, people create series on marriage. So obviously I'm very constrained and I'm going to try to do my best.

[2:15] And I found like the best thing I can do is get to a very core foundational truth that is going to help everybody in the room. And this is true if you're married or not married. And probably some of us in the room, they've been to sermons or things on marriage.

[2:31] And you're like, your guard comes up right away, right? And you're just like, oh, I'm about to be told how terrible of a husband or how terrible of a wife I am. And I'm going to be given all these to-dos. And I'm going to walk out of here with this heavy yoke on my back with like carrying heavy bags of like, all right, I got to do this and I got to do that.

[2:47] This is not that sermon. Okay. Just relax. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Ah. Okay. That's good news for you. So come with open hearts. Lean in.

[2:58] It'll be good for all of us here. If you're here and you've been married and maybe that ended in divorce or you've lost a spouse, man, we want to say, we want to come around you. And we want to recognize, man, that's hurtful.

[3:10] That's hard. Those are painful things to walk through. And we mourn with you. And I hope that today you get a renewed hope and a glory or maybe just a celebration of what marriage has been for you or what marriage could be.

[3:23] And we hope that's what you experience today. If you are single, whether that is for a season of life or you really feel called to that, we want to celebrate those who are single in our room.

[3:33] And I just want to say, don't check out. There is a lot here for you too. One, you're going to have friendships with people who are married. And you know what? The gospel gives us truth. And you as a single person, when you see your married friends living out of line with the gospel, you can go and help them out.

[3:48] And you can say, hey, little gentle rebuke here. You know, little adjustment you can make. And that is okay. And you could also take the sermon and give it to them. It's a great stocking stuffer. You know, it's all good.

[4:00] So before we begin, I want to touch on two things. First, if you're a parent with younger kids sitting in today, I am going to hit on some adult themes in marriage. Okay.

[4:10] I'm not shying away from that. I am doing it in a classy PG way, just so you know. All right. But if you want to play it safe and take your younger child out, no judgment.

[4:22] If you're walking out these doors right now, hey, we totally get that. It's all good. The other thing is we hold to a position as a church that the Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman.

[4:35] It's a position that today is becoming increasingly unpopular and increasingly confusing. However, the scope of today's sermon as it is, I won't be able to address that in detail.

[4:48] And if you have questions about those things, you can email us and we would love to get up with you and talk with you. But again, the sheer scope of this topic and the time allotted for me means I can't cover everything.

[5:00] Cool. Are we ready? You good? Let's go for it. So I want to open up by quoting some lyrics. And just so you know, my teenage years occurred in the 90s.

[5:11] So this is like proving that I'm a 45-year-old white guy. All right. So I'm quoting some lyrics from a song that was very popular in the day back then. But if you've been married long enough or you look at society today at large, it is easy to sympathize with what this guy says.

[5:29] So it says this. People listen up. Don't stand too close. I've got something that you all should know. Holy matrimony is not for me. I'd rather die alone in misery. Because I was always taught boy meets girl, fall in love, get married and forget the world.

[5:45] Nine months later, sweet baby's on the way. Isn't that what they used to say? When a girl you knew and the bonds that we grew turned into a ball and chain.

[5:55] And then it goes on to say this. Because marriage doesn't work in the world today. It's an institution that is in decay. And if I have love I wish to portray, I will surely find another way.

[6:07] And it was written by a man named Brad Noel of Sublime. So probably a lot in the room are very familiar with that name and that band. Now that was written, like I said, when I was a teenager in the 90s.

[6:17] But you read that and it's like, nah, that could have been written four minutes ago. Literally. Right? These lyrics capture the dream in one side around marriage. But also the disillusionment that surrounds marriage in our society.

[6:31] In one sense, you have popular shows like The Bachelor that capitalize on the idealization of romance. Finding that one perfect soulmate. And in that sense, the dream of marriage is very much alive and in high demand still today.

[6:46] If the ratings have to tell us anything. And then you go beyond that, you can just see a lot of people are still getting married today. Right? So it doesn't seem like marriage is going anywhere. But there is the other side of this as well.

[6:57] It's the disillusionment around marriage. The bonds of love that we begin with. Right? The honeymoon phase. Those first two years they talk about. What the romance is high and we got googly eyes for each other.

[7:09] Over time, that changes. And what was once beautiful, it kind of starts to feel more like a ball and chain. Marriage for the disillusion feels more like incarceration.

[7:20] It feels more like a prison to break out of. So then if we have a love we wish to portray, as the songwriter said, surely we can find another way. And we have.

[7:31] We have. We've found all different sorts of ways to do that today. Right? There is, instead of marrying and living together, we just decide to live together. Right? There's hookup culture.

[7:42] Whether that is for a moment or whenever the urge hits and calendars can align. Basically, what we've done is we've looked at a way to find and figure out how we could get the benefits of intimacy while staying as uncommitted and emotionally detached from the other person as possible.

[7:59] That's what's going on. Now, let me point this out. Whether you still believe in the dream of marriage or you are disillusioned with it, we're all still chasing after the same thing. We're all in the same boat.

[8:10] Whether it's in marriage or outside of marriage, we all desire to experience intimacy with another person. Now, whether you say, I do, at a wedding or swipe left on Tinder, both are driven by that same desire.

[8:25] And where does that come from? Well, the Bible has an answer for it. And it starts at the very beginning when God created man. Genesis 2.18 says this, Then the Lord God said, Now, several weeks ago, if you were here, Donnie already touched on this particular passage in great detail.

[9:09] It's worth going back and listening to his sermon on friendship. And I'm not going to cover the same ground he did here. But the point is, is that God says it is not good for man to live in isolation.

[9:22] Now, why would God say something like that? Well, before God has said, you know what? When they made man, he said, God said, hey, let us go and let us make man in our image and in our likeness. And that's what he did.

[9:34] Who is God then? If we are created in God's image, we then have to go back and like, well, who is this God we're created in? Well, the Christianity says this God is one God, but he is three persons.

[9:46] He is Father, he is Son, and he is Holy Spirit. And so God who he is, he is a community. He is a fellowship of people who love one another.

[9:58] And they're not loosely connected to one another. They are so intertwined and interconnected, their union, their love, their joy for one another is such that they could say that we are three persons and yet one God.

[10:11] It is a mystery. So God says, hey, he looks at Adam and says, this isn't good. We got to fix something here. Something's a deficit. How does God work this out? Verse 21. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man.

[10:25] And while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

[10:42] She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and will fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

[10:53] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Now, what we just read here is the very first wedding ever. God creates the first woman and it says he brought her to the man.

[11:06] That gets reacted at most weddings that we go to where the father figure or the father himself escorts the bride down to the waiting groom. That's exactly what it said. It said God brought her to the man.

[11:18] And so it's this beautiful thing. And then what we see is we see Adam on the other side of this. He sees Eve and he bursts out into a song of joy. When we read this at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

[11:30] That is an Adam going, this at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. Literally, the Hebrew scholars say what is happening there is he is bursting out into a poem. Adam goes poetic.

[11:41] He is singing a song out loud. He sees his bride. And like the groom that is waiting for his bride, we all see it. They start blubbering and they start crying. Even the most like hard-faced man, they can't help themselves.

[11:53] Adam sees this beautiful bride and he breaks out into song, right? That's what's happening. This is Adam's confession that his desire for intimacy is finally being fulfilled.

[12:07] Finally being fulfilled. And without a doubt, we can see that Adam is absolutely elated in this moment. And to a degree, this moment is about him and it's about his joy. But we can mistake our personal joy as the reason for marriage.

[12:20] And because of that, we often approach intimacy in a selfish way. We only think or hone in on what we are getting or maybe what we're not getting. And that in turn affects the way we behave in marriage.

[12:34] But the Bible couches it a totally different way. It says this, real intimacy comes at a high price. And I'm not talking about engagement rings. Let's consider what happens prior to Adam and Eve's wedding.

[12:46] It says Adam was put to sleep, right? God put him to sleep. Then God does a little surgery. His side was pierced. He took a rib out. A piece of him was lost. A piece of him was taken away.

[12:56] See, here's the thing. Here's what God is establishing in this moment. See, before Eve was given to Adam, Adam was given to Eve. Before the two could become one in marriage, which that oneness, that's the true meaning of intimacy.

[13:15] It's that union, that togetherness. Before that could happen, Adam had to sacrifice himself. He had to lose something in order to gain something better.

[13:26] And guess what? All this happened before sin, right? Which means God reveals a core foundation for every marriage. It shows us what holds it together, what makes it work, what makes marriage sing.

[13:39] And here it is. You have to lose something. You have to give yourself up. And that sacrifice that you make, it brings life. It cultivates life in your marriage.

[13:52] Think about it. Adam's sacrifice brought Eve to life. I mean, that literally is what happened we see here. So the question for you and me is, what are we, what are you sacrificing for your spouse to bring them life?

[14:07] Now today, we can't sacrifice a rib, but we can lose something. And the other way this passage teaches us the lose to gain principle is found in verse 24. It says, A man has to leave his old household.

[14:28] He has to leave it behind in order to hold fast to his wife. Now, some of you, that quite literally means leaving mommy and daddy emotionally.

[14:39] It means they aren't your authority anymore. It means they don't get to impose themselves and say like, I need you over here when I want, how I want, and so on and so forth. You have to say, ah, sorry, mom and dad.

[14:52] I'm leaving it. Now, I know for moms especially, if Haley was here, she would be saying like, ooh, this is the hardest part of the sermon, Jess. And I get that. For others, what that means to leave behind your old household, it means to leave your single life of freedom and individualistic decision making.

[15:12] Not so funny story for my first year of marriage. I'm going to throw myself under the bus here. I went on an errand and drove by my dad's house, pulled in, decided it would be a great chance to visit.

[15:25] Six hours later, without calling my wife to let me know where I was, I left his house and showed up. And I found out that my wife was of the unhappy temperament to my great surprise.

[15:38] And some of you are thinking like, wow, Jess, I'm not sure you should be the one giving this talk anymore. But the whole point was, it did not go well, you know? I was like so used to living the single life where it's like I could go where I wanted, when I wanted.

[15:53] My calendar was mine to worry about. There was nobody counting on me, thinking about me. I didn't have to check in. I just wasn't used to that. That was something I had to learn that I had to leave behind. So the old time he's saying is like leaving and cleaving, not like hacking something with a cleaver, but leaving and cleaving.

[16:10] And as a sense of cleaving to one another, joining in union. But often we don't leave and cleave. Often we leave and we grieve. And some of you just need to reckon with that in your hearts.

[16:22] Where are you leaving and grieving? Are you pining for the days where you didn't have to answer to anybody or serve anyone or sacrifice your wants for someone else? And now that you're married, you got to share your money, your expenses, your responsibilities, your bank account.

[16:38] Now someone else has a legitimate demand on your time and your attention. So if, let me say this. Here's a simple example. If you grew up being told real men don't do housework, I would like to kindly suggest that value system is not found anywhere in the Bible.

[16:55] That's a rib God needs to cut out. It's a value system of an old household that you need to leave behind.

[17:07] Now there's this popular meme going around the internet and it got really popular. So it's like, hey, maybe there's something here. And it said this, a man who cooks is attractive. A man who does dishes is irresistible.

[17:18] Okay. And I'm just saying, guys, we're always trying to figure out what's that angle towards, you know, being irresistible here. Just trying to help us out, you know. Do a brother a solid there.

[17:30] So that's for us. Now there's another part of this too that some old households, some old ways of thinking, value systems that we need to leave behind. Especially, you know, Christianity's had some doozies.

[17:44] Maybe you grew up in a purity culture where you were told under the hope of that you would not have sex before marriage. You were told that sex is bad and gross.

[17:55] You should be ashamed of any sexual desire that you feel towards someone else. But when you get married, suddenly everything's changed. You're all good. That's a little confusing. Now that is a good thing to jettison and leave behind.

[18:12] Here's another lie from the pit of hell. That came from good intentions gone wild in purity culture. Some of us may have been told if we had sex before marriage, we were damaged goods now.

[18:26] That we were a less than kind of person. That nobody could really love us. There was some kind of stain. And I would like to say to that, not in Christ.

[18:38] That is a totally untrue statement. That is about as big of a lie as you could believe. Jesus redeems everything. He heals. He purifies every stain of sin.

[18:49] Every single one of them. And if you were told that, I want to say, Jesus is here to tell you, no, no, no. In him, you are clean. In him, you are redeemed.

[19:01] In him, you are purified. You are forgiven. You are as beautiful, pure, and wonderful and clean as any virgin. And that is gospel truth.

[19:13] Now, I say that, but I also want to warn us, that shouldn't give us license to take advantage of grace. I think often what has happened in an attempt to run away from the toxicity that purity culture has brought, some of us have just done away with purity altogether.

[19:31] And that's just overswinging the pendulum. God does care about our sexual purity. We need to keep and hold on to the purity baby, but throw out the unhelpful purity culture bathwater.

[19:45] Because physical intimacy is a beautiful gift from God. He gave it to us to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage. And so, today you may need to ask God to renew your mind from his guided purity doctrines.

[19:59] To heal your soul from the shame it feels for having sexual desire for your spouse. And that can also mean healing from a heart that resents your spouse for having sexual desires for you.

[20:12] I just want to say this. God made us that way. He made us sexual beings. We will have those desires. And those desires are meant to be channeled in the right way toward the right person within the covenant of marriage.

[20:24] So, be free in that. It says in Genesis 2.25 that the man and his wife were naked and unashamed. Everybody just kind of like, oh, okay, here we're getting to the good stuff.

[20:38] The idea there, though, is that real intimacy, which we're going to unpack in a moment, that real intimacy, that naked and unashamed, it gives us the idea.

[20:50] But before Adam, before we get there, before Adam got the rewards, he had to pay a high price. And that's still true for us today. Intimacy is cultivated through the high price of sacrifice and faithfulness.

[21:03] But here's the counterpoint to that. Attempting intimacy without sacrifice and faithfulness also comes at a high price. We live in a world today that peddles counterfeit versions of intimacy.

[21:18] It peddles casual romance as a legit alternative. It peddles sexual liaison as a promising substitute. Or it paints a picture of marriage as an option as long as it is meeting your needs.

[21:32] But as soon as it is not, you can trade out and trade up. But what has been the fruit of all that? What does the evidence suggest? Well, it seems that as more people have engaged in that form of counterfeit intimacy, there has been a correlated rise in anxiety and loneliness.

[21:49] I mean, they're saying today it's rising and rising, and it's becoming almost to a level of epidemic proportions. Now, what's funny is divorce rates haven't changed much for decades.

[22:01] But today, less people are willing to try marriage, or they're putting it off for a very long time. And it's because more people are disillusioned with it. They agree that marriage doesn't work in the world today.

[22:14] And if I have a love I wish to portray, I will surely find another way. For many, they look at marriage and they say, hmm, too costly. They don't see the dream.

[22:24] They just see the prison. Now, maybe you aren't there. Maybe you're not that jaded. But perhaps your marriage feels a lot more like a ball and chain these days than the dream you started with.

[22:37] And the question we all have to wrestle with at this point is the same one that that young man did who wrote the lyrics that we begin with. And here's the thing we have to weigh up. Is marriage the problem?

[22:49] Is marriage the issue? Or is it me? See, deep down, we want what marriage promises us. But we don't want the cost of what it demands of us.

[23:03] What we really long for can't be replaced by pornography or casual romance or sexual encounters. What the Bible has in mind with the phrase naked and unashamed means is that we are fully known and that we are fully loved and accepted.

[23:22] Now, we are not that great at naming that, but that is what our souls are crying out for. Young folks in the room, teenagers, I've been where you are.

[23:34] That is what your soul is longing for. We all want to live in that place where honesty and vulnerability and acceptance intersect.

[23:46] And to be naked means that every part of us is known and is exposed to a person that is very close to us. And that is a scary thing because that means they know about the parts that we're not that proud of.

[24:00] The parts that like, man, if some people knew about this, they would be running for the heels as fast as they could. But at the same time, we want those things.

[24:11] We just don't want to feel the potential shame of being exposed because we don't know what that person's going to do with that information. We don't know how they're going to respond to that. That is scary, especially in the world that we live in.

[24:24] We look around and we don't see how that Genesis idea of naked and then the shame can be in reality. And it's easy to be cynical towards that and look at the Bible and say, you know what?

[24:34] That is just like, God is being way too idealistic, way too unreasonable. That is just like anachronistic, impossible. The Bible is so out of touch.

[24:46] And I just want to say this, before we get cynical, before we write it off, the Bible actually goes on to explain why you're feeling that way. Why we find intimacy so hard to attain to, even though we want it so bad.

[24:59] Because what happens next in the story of Adam and Eve is that they sin. They believe a lie that they aren't enough as they are. They need to partake of something they are told. And in this case, it was a forbidden fruit.

[25:12] And here's the insidiousness of sin. At its core, it promises we can become more than we already are right now. Now that doesn't seem like a bad principle because you're just like, well, what's wrong with improving yourself, Jesse?

[25:26] I mean, come on, shouldn't we be doing this? Okay. But that is not what that moment was about. And that's not what sin says to us. Sin, it says, you're not an, it implies that you need to be more.

[25:38] But the subtle side of that is it's saying, you aren't enough as you are. And here is how that wreaks havoc in the marriage relationship. In verse seven, it says that, then the eyes of both Adam and Eve were opened and they knew that they were naked.

[25:52] And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

[26:08] So they sin and two things immediately happen. What do they do? They cover up their own nakedness, which means that they're covering up themselves from each other, right? And then they hide.

[26:18] So two things happen because of sin. We insulate and we isolate, right? So like spiritually what that looks like in sin, when we insulate, it's like, you know those big puffy jackets we like to wear in the winter time?

[26:30] It is like the more ashamed that we are and the more, the less we can be vulnerable, what happens is we start to build up these layers of insulation that protect us so that people won't be able to get to the real person inside.

[26:44] We cover up, we insulate, we protect ourselves. And then we isolate, we create distance from other people. That's what happens because of sin. See, the real prison isn't marriage.

[26:55] That isn't the real problem. The real problem, the real prison here, the real ball and chain is sin and the power of its shame. Now, when you and I are motivated to live a life that says I need to be all I can be and nobody better stand in my way, or you look at your spouse and you're thinking, you know what, they aren't good enough for me anymore.

[27:17] You're repeating exactly what Adam and Eve did here. You're believing the same lie that they ate. A wise pastor once said that there are three lies and I'm not talking about myself or just in case you're thinking this is a backhanded compliment.

[27:32] This guy named Henry Nguyen, he said there's three lies we build a false identity around. I am what I do, I am what I have, and I am what others think or say about me.

[27:44] And we build ourselves up in that way and we create this insulation and isolation and that is why sin is such an intimacy killer because no matter what you do, no matter what you have, no matter what others may be saying, there will always be this nagging sense that you aren't enough and that your spouse isn't enough.

[28:05] And so what do we do? We live covered up. Insulate, isolate. We gotta weigh all those unseemly aspects of who we are. Now that is the high cost of sin.

[28:18] And that's the bad news, but there is good news. In Jesus, the marriage dream can be rescued from sin and restored. And here's the thing though, Jesus doesn't start with your marriage.

[28:31] He starts with your heart because he knows that's what needs to be fixed first. So where sin comes and convinces you, you are what you do, Jesus comes and says, here is the real truth.

[28:45] You are what I've done for you. Where sin comes and says, you are what you have, Jesus comes and says, no, no, no, no, no. I've already given you all that you really need.

[28:57] Where sin says, you are what others think or say, Jesus comes in and says, no, no, no, no, no. You are my beloved. You are the father's delight, his son and his daughter, who he is pleased with.

[29:12] And nothing that you do can change that. And when that becomes your identity, when we get so rooted in that, that is how we live.

[29:22] And we rest in that truth. And like that is unshakable. The more that it is, man, sin loses its power over us. You see yourself differently.

[29:34] You see yourself through the lens of Christ. You see yourself through the father's eyes, but not also for yourself. You know what? You're looking through that same lens at your spouse. And in Jesus, you are free and can move forward into that intersection of honesty, vulnerability, and acceptance.

[29:53] And it is the best place that we can live. Now look at how the dream of marriage is restored in Jesus. Ephesians 5.21 gives us some insight into that.

[30:06] And it starts out with this, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. And here's this clear call to mutual submission of both parties out of reverence to Christ, which also means our mutual submission must be with reference to Christ, not just reverence to Christ, but in reference to him.

[30:25] He is the focal point. To be able to live in this way, to be able to live out and have any hope for intimacy, it doesn't do, it isn't with do better, try harder on your own.

[30:36] It is like, I need to have myself focused on Christ and live my life in reference to him and what he has done. Now, let me run at the tension of this word submission because submission can confuse us and upset us.

[30:50] But the way the Bible uses it has nothing to do with control. It has nothing to do with abuse. In fact, it's the exact opposite. To submit to one another in love as God wants us to do means we lay down our desires and even our life for the sake of someone else out of love.

[31:08] Submission has everything to do with our faithful service and our faithful sacrifice, which is the essence of intimacy. It creates the foundations upon which intimacy can exist.

[31:19] Now, this passage goes on to say how this works out in the marriage context, this idea of submission for both husbands and for wives. How do wives and husbands offer up their faithful service and sacrifice to each other?

[31:33] Well, it's in reference to Christ and in reverence to him. Verse 22, it says, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.

[31:49] Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. The wives' submission here is in reference to Christ and the church.

[32:01] And if you take that, if you take it out, that verse, if you take it out of that context, what you end up with is you can end up with abusive husbands. And you can end up with wives being told by the church and its church leaders that they have to take the hits and stay in the marriage and be faithful.

[32:18] Now, I'm not saying that a husband has to be perfect, like Christ, or the wife can just trade him out, right? Just because, my goodness, he's left his shoes laying around one too many times.

[32:30] Like, sorry, buddy, I've given you enough chances. That's not what I'm saying. But there has to be an appreciation here that the husband isn't taking advantage of his wife's call to submit, yet he's ignoring his call to submit to her, okay?

[32:45] Because that is exactly what comes next. Guys, listen up. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

[33:11] In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

[33:30] I'm gonna leave that last verse out. There, so we read that passage, and what we see is that, you read that, there is no room there in everything that we read for heavy-handed husbands.

[33:42] There just isn't. Gentlemen, your call to show Christ to your wife is ultimate. You are called to die for her sake. It is a noble, beautiful calling.

[33:53] That is what it means for you to love her and cherish her. You are called to let go of your dreams, to care and cherish her in that way. You put her first. Now, if you're stepping back and you're saying, just saying, I'm having a hard time doing that, because all I can think about is like, what about my needs?

[34:10] How are my needs going to be met in this? Who is going to be taking care of number one? Well, this passage helps you out. It says, actually think about yourself.

[34:22] Think about your own body. If you're having a hard time trying to find the motivation to love your wife and meet her needs, consider how well you love yourself and care for yourself, or at least should be.

[34:35] And with the same passion you have for yourself, go and serve and sacrifice your wife in the same way. It says right there in the Ephesians passage, no one has ever hated his own flesh, which is saying to me, Jesse, you know what?

[34:48] Nobody loves Jesse like you love Jesse. And that is true. Every single one of us, every single guy can say that about himself. Nobody loves himself like they love themselves. And it's saying like, with all that love that you love yourself with, and your consideration you put onto your own life and your own body and your own concerns, it says now with that same passion, that same fervor, turn it around and live towards your wife in that same way.

[35:13] Husbands, love your wife with reference to Christ and out of reverence to Christ, because you are both in Christ. Now here we are, we're gonna close with this, Christ redeeming what was lost in Eden, restoring that dream of being naked and unashamed, that real intimacy that we long for.

[35:35] And how does he do that? Well, one, he did it for us. He made a way for us. And then he calls us into that same pattern of life. He calls us into the way of the cross, to live sacrificially and faithfully for one another, putting each other first.

[35:54] That is how Christ rescues and restores our marriages. And if you commit to it, your marriage can sing. No matter where, what state it's in, your marriage can sing, even through the toughest of times.

[36:08] Honestly, it can sing. So as the band comes up, we look to respond. I'm gonna say in a moment, we're gonna take communion. And the thing about communion, it brings us back in reference to Christ.

[36:20] And I wanna say, if you're here and you're here with your spouse, man, really, I wanna encourage you, consider taking it together. Just as a sign and remembrance of that you are part of the body of Christ and your oneness is in him.

[36:33] Now, if you're here and not married, there is a time to reflect on the beautiful truth of Jesus's love for you, his desire for oneness with you. And that's true for all of us.

[36:45] And like Adam, Jesus's side was pierced and blood flowed. But unlike Adam, he wasn't asleep when that happened. And Jesus gave up more than a rib. He gave up his whole life.

[36:57] And as you and I, as we come and eat and drink the signs of his sacrifice, that points to his body and his blood. Think of how it echoes back to Eden. See, Eve was created out of Adam.

[37:11] A whole new person was made from Adam and for Adam. And through Christ's sacrifice, you have become a whole new person. You have. The Bible says we are a new creation when we are saved.

[37:28] And I would just like to remind you, if you're here with your spouse, it's not only good to remember that for yourself, it's good to remember that for them, to look at them in that way. And Christ died.

[37:39] And from his death, from his sacrifice, a new creation was made. We were created from Jesus, for Jesus. Amen.